Spanish Greetings 101: Kissing Strangers
The clearly defined greeting rules of 2 kisses on the cheek to almost everyone you meet
Whenever people come visit me from the US I debrief them on Spanish greetings immediately upon arrival. This is equal parts just to prepare them and also to avoid any awkward moments where someone accidentally gets kissed on the lips cause they go in for the “cheek-kiss” greeting on the wrong cheek.
“Anyone you meet will give you two kisses on the cheek,” I always prep. “Left cheek first, right cheek second, two quick pecks that don’t actually land on the cheek.”
I’ve seen far too many foreigners look of utter surprise when a stranger unexpectedly heads towards their face.
This culture of two kisses on the cheek upon meeting someone or simply seeing a friend is a hard and fast rule, in all informal settings. If you’re meeting a banker or a real estate agent, handshakes preclude said cheek kisses. The rule of thumb is, in an informal context, men shake hands with men, and women give two kisses to both men and women. And in a familiar context, everyone gives two kisses to everyone, often times a big hug as well.
It should be clarified that it’s rare you literally plant a kiss on someone’s cheek, it’s more the gesture itself. You place your cheek next to the other person’s cheek and that’s about it, if you want to add some flair (as I typically do), you can make the classic “muah” sound.
It makes for quite the affair when you arrive late to a large group hang out. Imagine arriving at a table for 10 for dinner with friends and each and every single person standing up to give you the obligatory two kisses on the cheek.
I love the clearly defined greeting rules (if you haven’t figured it out by now, Spain is deeply rooted in traditions and rituals) and the way this simple gesture reflects the country’s deeper values of connection, warmth and community. There’s comfort in greeting friends and new acquaintances with such a closeness. Too many times I’ve given an awkward wave of a hello or a handshake that feels oddly professional when meeting someone in the U.S. Or the opposite when you go in for a hug and someone says “oh, I’m not a hugger.” It creates an instant unspoken but certainly felt distance. In the case of Spain, it’s the opposite effect. There’s a implicit connection that’s formed with every person you meet (or friend you see). It’s almost like a physical breaking of the ice when meeting someone new. And when seeing friends, it’s a familiar tradition where you relish in the tacit knowledge of, “this is what we do”.
Very well stated. Besos all round in Mexico too.