The Unexpected Perk of Learning a Second Language

How learning a second language can bring awareness to how we talk to ourselves

It never ceases to surprise me how the U.S. continues to bypass the second-language culture that the rest of the world so intentionally prioritizes. These days you’re hard-pressed to find a country that doesn’t instill at least two languages in their youth from the very first days of primary education (or even earlier, in Spain it’s quite comment to enroll toddlers in bilingual daycare).

Lately I’ve been reflecting on one of the unexpected benefits of learning a second language: the deeper awareness of how we talk to ourselves.

Because Spanish isn’t my first language, I’m significantly more conscious of the words and verb tenses I’m using whilst thinking to myself and speaking with others. When thinking in your native language, you’re more likely to think on auto-pilot. It’s the language you grew up in and around, a default practice.

Sure, with therapy, self-help books, meditation and spirituality more popular than ever, perhaps you do consciously think of how you talk to yourself. But, if you bring that awareness coupled with how you think and speak in your non-native language, your insights are multiplied.

In my second year living here, as I started feeling truly bilingual, I started to notice myself thinking in Spanish. And with that came the realizations that I was using some Spanish words more than others. It was glaringly obvious to me as I spoke, it was like so many of my sentences and phrases included similar verb tenses. I realized that I actually use those same words when thinking in English but the “foreign” element of thinking in my non-native language brought more awareness to that.

So what are my word(s) that I became hyper aware of overusing as I transitioned into the world of bilingualism? All forms of the verb deber (must or should), often times used with haber, to place even further emphasis on something one should have done. Being aware of how we speak to ourselves is a gift, and what I’ve learned personally through my thoughts in Spanish is that I use the verb deber in all it’s forms quite frequently:

Yo debería haberla llamado ayer (I should have called her yesterday)

Deberiamos haber sacado a la basura (We should have taken out the trash)

Deberian ser mas comprensivos (They should be more understanding)

Debería, deberíamos, deberían….“I should”, “we should”, “they should”

As I moved into uncharted bilingual waters, I encountered a lot of “shoulds” around me! And what does that say about who I am and how I’m living? It felt like a lot of judgement, principally self-judgement. Yes, maybe I should have done X thing, but thinking about it in that way didn’t feel like an effective way to live my life.

With this newfound awareness I started doing a bit of wordplay. Instead of debería ir al gimnasio (I should go to the gym), I try, me gustaría ir al gimnasio (I would like to go to the gym). A simple replacement with a more positive, less guilt-ridden lens.

On a broader level, this awareness of word repetition when it comes to language learning can also be incredibly useful for learning another language more quickly. I’ll never forget reading this post which propelled my Spanish language learning in my early days of living in Sevilla. By starting out your language learning journey in focusing on the most commonly used spoken and written words in that language, you can drastically maximize your studying efforts. It’s actually quite fascinating how now after living here for so long, I’ve reached a level of fluency yet at the same time if you throw me into a tour of an art museum where a bunch of technical historical words are used, I can still get lost! This is because so much of my Spanish language practice is in a conversational style. I don’t need to know technical art history terms, I just need to be able to hang out with my friends. And you become really aware of how there’s a core set of words that are directly related to typical daily conversations and stories. It’s a secret key that can unlock the door to learning a language faster.

I’m curious, for any bilinguals or polyglots there, have you had a similar experience? And if so, what word or words did you become aware of that you frequently used?

Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash