Community > Individualism
How Spain's "community first" mindset contributes to a more wholehearted life
When people ask me why I live in Spain, aside from the obvious “jamón ibérico de bellota”, my second, more meaningful answer is the sense of community. I feel a part of life here. There is a community, and I feel included in the community. It’s invaluable to me to deeply, physically feel that I’m a part of something bigger than myself, that I belong to something outside myself. Individuals aren’t the center of attention, it’s the group that’s the center.
The sense of community pervades every moment of everyday life here, when I walk into the fruit shop and know I’ll be welcomed by the owner Juanma who is eager to tell me about the latest fruit he has brought in while the abuela ahead of me starts to explain how she prepares her berza…when I leave my apartment building and see my neighbor who asks me how the visit was with my parents (she saw us at the supermarket together)…when I go to a birthday party and partake in the communal gift, because here it’s tradition that when someone hosts a birthday party or dinner, they pay for everything and in exchange their group of friends organizes a communal gift.
Beyond the above, which really isn’t anything too special (but appreciate the simple pleasures, right?), the most noteworthy difference is the chemistry and overall group dynamic when you’re hanging with a group of Spaniards (family dinner, Friday lunch with friends, work event, etc.).
For example, I find it fascinating how I can spend countless hours with friends here and work never comes up. I don’t know what half of Spanish my friends do for work. When we’re hanging out in a group, there’s this simplicity to the hangout that’s more about just living in the moment versus going through the obligatory list of how’s your family, how’s work, etc. Don’t get me wrong, I love that too, but the shift from the focus on individuals in the group to just instead being present in part of an overall group dynamic is a stark contrast to the group interactions I’m used to in the U.S. I think both are valuable, it’s just interesting to have become so enmeshed in this different approach where community reins over individuals.
These moments can and do happen in any country, on any given day, but what strikes me about Spain is that it’s so chiseled into the core of Spain’s being that it’s not just that these moments can happen, it’s that they do happen. To everyone. Everyone is a part of the larger whole, everyone is connected.
There’s no “be the best you can be” mentality, which I’ll be the first to admit I do also live by, but it’s refreshing to take a break from that mindset and realize, ah, it’s okay simply just to be a part of something, to replace unspoken competition with connection.
Not be the best you can be and rush through the grocery store so you can get home and keep working on that project deadline for work. Not just wave to your neighbor from afar because you live in a house across the street and you aren’t really going to cross the street to chat with them now are you, no time for that.
Instead? Contribute, participate, connect.
